I am a voracious reader, a meditator, writer, hiker, a supporter of equality, and hoping to achieve enlightenment in this lifetime through practice. I am an interfaith hospital lay chaplain, INELDA Certified End-of-Life doula, and David Kessler Certified Grief Educator. I earned my B.S in Psychology from Incarnate Word University after raising two boys as a widow. The dying of my late husband in 1993 led me to this meaningful work.
‘No hour is ever eternity, but it has its right to weep.” – Zora Neale Hurston
A Guide companions alongside another, through a forest they themselves are familiar with.
Grieving is the emotional response to experiencing something devastating. It is internal…the knot in our throat, the whirling thoughts that punish our sleep. Mourning is external…the tears we shed, the memorial tree we plant.
Partnering with a Grief & Mourning Guide can help diminish the feeling of being alone in what often is the chaos of loss. Together we create a unique, judgement-free space where you can be raw and messy, furious and heartbroken, all that you need to be until you find what you’re looking for, to move forward with your loss beside you.
A truth about grief is that we don’t ‘heal’ from it the way our external bodies heal from an injury. Grief is more like a pilgrimage without an end because our person will always be loved and remembered. One is the counterbalance for the other. Our sorrow evolves as we do because grieving is not linear.
There often comes a time when we’re ready to move through the sadness but aren’t sure how to make the first step. It can feel overwhelming. That’s when you reach out for support.
Private Sessions:
Cost: $90 (per 45-minute session)
We do not replace chaplains, palliative care teams or hospice nurses. We work alongside these healthcare professionals, filling in the gaps left by all their other responsibilities.
Cost: $100 (per hour)
I have chosen to work specifically within the sphere of oncology. However, I can be invited into a person’s story long before a medical crisis. Some wish to plan ahead, opening a space for important conversations. I offer support when individuals are impacted by a terminal diagnosis, further down the road when death is imminent, and even after a death, helping loved ones reprocess the experience to benefit their grief journey.
When we plan for our death, we have autonomy over our decisions and are able to clearly define our wishes with family and loved ones. The more time we have together, the more opportunity there is to discover some control in an uncontrollable situation. We can build a Vigil Plan for last days, script Guided Imagery sessions for pain management, help loved ones learn how best to support you. Or there can be no agenda at all. Simply companionship…a space to share what you may be afraid to express to those you love.
Cost: $35 (per guest)
Michael Hebb began a nonprofit called Let’s Talk About Death Over Dinner in 2018. It challenges participants around the world to come together in groups over a simple shared meal to grapple with their own mortality.
The Death Deck is a box of playing cards conceived in 2008. Hospice & emergency medicine social worker, Lisa Pahl, and Lori LoCicero, a grieving widow were motivated to encourage discussions about dying and death before a crisis occurs. A thread of humor helps to make the experience more approachable for a topic that is usually uncomfortable.
I wove these resources together to create Death Over Dinner Game Night. With curious friends around your dining table, a casual evening could become a mix of going deep and discovering hilarity. Sharing soup and salad with people you know, you may uncover new perspectives and gain some insight…into them and perhaps yourself.
Cost: $90 per session (30-45 minutes)
A Vigil Plan can bring comfort in final days, for both a dying individual and their loved ones. Think of it as a blueprint one can follow when we can no longer speak for yourself. Those at bedside will have this comforting resource to guide them and their attention to you.
Our five traditional senses transmit information from our peripheral nervous system through various pathways to our central nervous system. While the smell of pipe tobacco might soothe one, it might trigger the memory of a cruel person in someone else. Listening to gentle rain can be meditative for some, and annoying to others. Would we like holiday lights strung around our room? Do we want windows left open or opened only after our death? Have you started a Dying Playlist?
Keeping all your senses in mind, we spend time considering what you might wish for. From there, we create a draft for your approval. The end result with be a small book you can share with those who matter to you, who may be at your bedside. They might have questions or want to hear why something is important to you. This is a wonderful opportunity to have meaningful conversations. It is never too soon to have created a Vigil Plan. We have no idea when we will lose the ability to communicate. This Plan can be updated once a year or whenever you’d like.
Cost: $100 per session (45-60 minutes)
Gentle nurturing touch is always important. This is even more true when we are struggling with an illness or nearing the end of our lives here. The gentle physical contact helps to reduce anxiety and pain, leading to a feeling of relaxation and calm. It can be grounding in a way that helps to combat a feeling of isolation that often occurs as other senses diminish.
In a place you are able to relax, dressed in comfortable loose clothing, I use an unscented lotion beginning at your feet or calves. I work up one side of your body with your extremities, and down the other, finishing where I began.